I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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