Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I think my moral compass just broke
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
