she looked like the bat from fern gully.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
not ubering you a puppy
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
