your room smells of hookers.
And success
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Even my vagina gasped.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
