That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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