You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
