He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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