I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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