Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
