Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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