is wine microwaveable?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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