Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
