3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
