the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
