I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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