I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
