remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
