i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
