I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
