oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize