I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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