People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I stole a fireplace last night.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
