Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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