That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
the gays at disneyland are vicious
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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