"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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