he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize