nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
