Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
farters have to be the big spoon...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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