So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize