There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
