You really coming over, don't trick.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
