I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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