its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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