i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
