If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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