He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
