Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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