Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
