You kept calling me your small dog last night.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
