Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
