I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
