Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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