The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
