its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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