Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
