So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize