Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
