If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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