sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
