Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
