that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
