Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
