Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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