saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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