So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
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