i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
