look no pants
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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