reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
